Written by • Published 27th April 2017


Personal reputation masterstroke or fortunate blunder? That could be the tagline of Ed Balls’ entire life to date. Unfathomably worse at Twitter than he is at dancing, he has become a figure of public adoration over his good-natured bumbling. How very British.

So to celebrate Ed’s digital illiteracy, here is our list of the great and (mostly) awful of when Twitter meets Politics.

Balls or bust – the Political Tweet to end all Political Tweets. Never change, Mr Balls.

Every #EdBallsDay, children will leave a glass of milk and a pair of spandex leggings at the bottom of their bed. Then they will close their eyes and whisper ‘Ed Balls’ three times. If they’ve been good, Ed Balls will appear before them to perform a dance, before dashing off into the night to fight crime.

Optimistic to presume that Dirty Dave can summon the spirit of Thatcher considering that he can’t even remember which football team he is supposed to support.

The historic moment that the Republican Party began its love affair with Donald J. Trump.

Hot tip for 2017: Donald to launch his own dating app: Ivanka

I sincerely doubt that we will be offering our PR services to Ivanka. But believe us, nobody does PR/builds walls/runs integrated campaigns better than we do.


Checkmate, Donald.

Soames: the inverse Batman of Twitter. Not the hero we need, but definitely the hero we deserve. Would highly recommend monitoring his feed for the ultimate Public School put-downs and the latest assault on ‘Leave’ voters – if he could aggressively ingest the whole lot of them, I’ll bet you he would.

Beautiful in its simplicity. This is the one time in her life that Hillary managed to connect with the electorate, which is deliciously ironic as it was blatantly one of her staffers who tweeted it. But I’m nitpicking, this is one of the all-time greats (570k retweets?!)

A tweet that spawned one of the greatest memes of our time: Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer. We’ve lamented Ted and his aggressively untrustworthy eyebrows in the past. Could he yet hunt us down and exact vengeance? Yes he could. Do we regret everything? Yes we do.

A cursory glance at Twitter will show you that too many political insults lack creativity. ‘Trump/May are fascists!’ – dull. ‘Corbyn is a communist!’ Again, dull. Revealing Steve Bannon’s true identity as an ancient reptilian evil who stalks the under-realms? So. Much. Better. 

Ironically tweeted by the biggest donut on the planet.

‘Vote for me and I’ll hide in the bin outside of Margaret’s house and then scare the life out of her when she comes back from Sunday mass.’ Cleverly executed James, and you would have our vote, but marked down for not proof-reading.

No words.


Included solely on the premise that the return of Zac Goldsmith is the best comeback story since Lazarus.